S5EP02 - “The Physical” featuring the Pink Cloud Jumpsuit
If there is one thing that gives Clair that feeling of freedom and acceptance - not unlike the pink cloud a recovering addict experiences when they are finally free of say… crack - it’s Cliff getting his shit together and eating healthy before his physical. Side order of hoop earrings with that no carb turkey burger please!
S4EP21 - “Trust Me” feat. The Tron Grid Blazer
Cliff might be playing a ukelele, doing nothing and otherwise on his vagina-cation (get it?) but for Clair, this is really where the rubber meets the road! Like a hacker that accidentally lands inside his own computer gaming world - Clair has finally landed on a single fashion element, so epic that it’s basically a danger to herself and those around her. A blazer with a grid in which, you could almost see light cycles racing… ‘nuff said.
S4EP21 - “Trust Me” feat. The divorce lawyer Banana Boat
A wise man once said that sometimes the sunshine conceals itself behind the darkest clouds, only so it can come out in all its glory and shine brighter than anything you’ve ever seen. And it’s like, blinding. But beautiful. Seriously beautiful. That’s pretty much the strategy behind Clair’s dark and stormy trench coat and her brighter than daylight on the surface of the sun, suit. Anyway, I don’t really know what any of this has to do with getting divorced but Clair is about to file the papers for her couple friends and she’s smiling which seems kind of cold, even for Clair - I’m pretty sure though, it’s only ‘cuz she’s wearing a bright yellow power suit.
S4EP16 - “The Visit” feat. Camel’s Revenge
Oh what’s in here Cliff? Some lettuce? Good, good. Oh wait, what’s this? Apple pie?! B-U-S-T-E-D! And what’s even better is that Clair looks so fine doing it. High-wasted skirt: check. Criss cross, silk blouse: check… with Shoulder Pads: check. Hot Belt: check. Librarian hair: check. Golden flowy chains necklace: check. One thing is definitely sure… Cliff fucked with the wrong lady and you better believe Clair will get her some of that sweet, sweet Camel-colored revenge.
S4EP15 - “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” feat. the Bushido Honor Code Broach
In case you can’t glean the context of what’s going on here: Clair is calm, collected and otherwise ready to seppuku herself if Rudy’s ear-murdering suzuki shitshow doesn’t quit it. On some real samurai shit, Clair is no stranger to the gilded broach (see here) and my hunch is that she’s not only managed to perfect this already-very-close-to-perfect, silky, red, eastern, kimono look by adding a very Clair accouterment… but that her strategy was selecting an accessory that could also perform this honorable ritual suicide, if necessary.
That said, I really wouldn’t feel comfortable publishing this post into the world without at least mentioning the foot print knit that cliff is sporting. Gah!
S4EP11 - “Dancemania” feat. RCSP aka ‘Racket Club Shoulder Pads’
Sometimes you want to wear a sweat suit and sometimes you want to rock Racket Club Shoulder Pads. Clair doesn’t mess with the former - she’s a badass lawyer mom and don’t you forget it. Here she exhibits the most flawless sportswear look that crosses over into business casual, evening wear and even resort. Like the fairy godmother of Liz Claiborne’s wet dream, she looks pleased, and really, why shouldn’t she?
S4EP10 - “Where’s Rudy?” feat. The so-Secret Overalls
There’s no way to put this lightly: Clair is actually wearing overalls - and I just realized it. Here I thought she was rocking that varsity jacket with some drop crotch denim jeans and reinventing some Annie Hall shit! I had an entire post written about how Clair was killing it on a Swedish/Cheap Monday - meets - Friday Night lights thing. Overalls are a dealbreaker pretty much always but gonna’ have to say that CH gets an A+ for hiding those suckers so well and for looking so uncharacteristically care-free. Get it girl!
S4EP06 - “That’s Not What I Said” feat. Purple Rain, the epic lady suit
You might be asking what exactly is going on in this scene. Maybe not. Well basically, these two lovebirds are in a fight that started on some bullshit about Theo and blah blah blah, what else is new. So, Clair is making a list of things that Cliff did which in turn, upset her. Obviously. And Cliff is…. drawing pictures of pregnant women’s vaginas. And while there is sooo much coolness in Clair’s suit, it is sort of boner-killed by her list-making. In a perfect world, she’d be writing out the original lyrics to “Raspberry Beret”…. but because of basic time-travel and logistical issues, gonna’ have to say this scenario is doubtful.
S4EP05 - “Shakespeare” feat. A Million Golden Showers Necklace
So this is a totally crazy episode and thus, a lewk that requires some prefacing: Cliff decides he wants to have a BBQ in the middle of winter. Even crazier though, is the creepy way he insists on saying BAR-BEE-CUEEEE every chance he can get. Anyway, so somehow the winter BAR-B-CUE (gross) is the perfect (read: totally nonsensical) segway for Christopher Plummer and that old hot guy who play’s Cliff’s dad - to recite every line of Shakespeare they know. Which is weird, because if you think that all that flowery language and winter BBQ’ing is going to somehow trick Clair into washing some dishes… YOU MUST HAVE LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND. In case you didn’t notice, she’s sporting a fucking kandinsky masterpiece (transferred onto silk, no less) topped off with a billion flowing 24k gold chains straight off Nefertiti’s bust and shit! Note to everyone: not dish-washing outfit.
S4EP04 - “Cliff’s Mistake” feat. misleadingly Purse those lips guuUUUuuUuuurrrl! You are fierce as FUCK with that broach and drapey blue v-neck-but-not-actually-v-neck sweater blouse thing! Even Cliff can’t help but get an “oh no you di’nt” finger shake in there.risqué conservative, blue blouse thingy